{ this is reality..

[snowstorm]

- { tagged for smally mapleh } -

and reality, like truth - hurts.

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— snowstorm

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her blood was so immense. so overpowering. why? there wasn't innocence within her blood. but there wasn't innocence in the blood of any feline older than a kit. innocence was a lie, in truth; we all kill, we all hurt. everything hurts; others hurt us, we hurt others. pain is our living. and that wasn't innocent.

securely in her jowls, icepaw's scruff stayed put. but snowstorm was growing tired. not physically, but more so within. the death and cruelty of the world. and, chances were, she wouldn't be given a chance to speak the truth, to prove there was hope. that all felines didn't have to hate each other for whatever clan they were born within. a life is a life. and this was the proof. but would others agree? would the world allow peace, or would it go against all wishes for tranquility? the latter seemed almost guaranteed.

she suppressed a sigh. shadowclan's camp was near. will they tear me apart? her cranium lowered for a split second. probably. she prayed that brittlebreeze was the first one she saw. and perhaps, in an attempt to increase those chances, she murmured, "brittlebreeze..," as if he would hear. somehow, from yards away. she still had ways to go, but maybe, just maybe, he would have the urge, the sense, to go outside of camp, at least a bit.

their reek was powerful. and how she wished it wasn't a horrid stench. because it only meant she followed the rivalry, the bloodshed, of the ancestors before her. she had nothing against them, but i have everything against what they have done. fury, hatred. murder. in all honesty, despite living with such things pumping through her, she despised it. why do we have to be so vicious?

just a little bit more, and she would be at their camp entrance..

the rain was bittersweet, a darling as it kissed her and the unconscious apprentice, but cold in its truth. the truth that, it even kissed the earth when the cruelest things came to be. but there was no control of it, really. reality had its own schedules, its own plans.

blinking, she paused, lowering icepaw delicately to the ground. though not completely. only partially, to regain a firmer but soft grip, to keep from dropping her. just a but more. a few more fox lengths, a few more doubts, a few more fears. nothing too bad.

in only a few moments, the entrance loomed before her - and she could have sworn, shadows lurched at her for a moment, right when the skies growled with thunder, lightning searing the heavens. ignoring all the possibilities of this situation ending badly, she called out, loud as she could over the rain and with a hoarse voice, 'round the apprentice's scruff she so carefully held. "brittlebreeze!"

and as she waited, she blinked a raindrop out of her moonstones. it mingled with the smears of blood that came from the dear apprentice's face, creating the appearance of a bloody tear. and in that one droplet, which shattered against the drumming of newer, falling drops, whispered all the fears and sorrows of this moment that she dared banish. at least, temporarily. for now, emotions would do nothing.

if only i hadn't been so slow, so suspicious, she refrained from shaking herself, maybe then i could have saved her. and though it probably would end in a stricter rivalry, a hotter hatred.. a life wouldn't be hanging by a thread. yes, she had a chance. a rather firm chance now that a medicine cat was near, hopefully. but the chance was still overpowered by the odds. it wasn't so much as fifty-fifty. but the call was not hers; only the hysteria of mind. the worries and thoughts.

she sighed within. fate is cruel. how true that was.

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[aspenkit]

. a s p e n p a w .
^{i'm my own worst enemy}

nervous, jumpy, scared... nervous. those words could describe the way aspenpaw was feeling. brittlebreeze was gone, off in search of something that aspenpaw hadn't been able to pester out of him. so he had left his apprentice alone, and part of that made aspenpaw feel better. if he'd left him in camp to tend to everyone else while he was away then he obviously trusted in aspenpaw's ability to be a medicine cat, right? or perhaps he had just been in such a rush for answers he hadn't thought about that. aspenpaw chose to believe the former.

but aspenpaw being a thinker, he couldn't help but think that the worst might happen. something might happen that he couldn't cure with his current knowledge, something that a cat would die from because of him. the thought scared him more than everything. but every time he tried to think of something else, is mind just drifted back to topics he really did not want to be thinking of. He focused his green eyes on the herb stock, deciding to go over and see if he could remember each of their names, and what they did. it was a better way to pass the time than thinking of all the bad things that could come from brittlebreeze being away.

what did aspenpaw think of brittlebreeze? aspenpaw admired him greatly. the young tom looked up to the medicine cat but disliked only one thing. how he treated certain cats, or well, how he treated glenpaw. the medicine cat apprentice could only wonder what had happened to them that had made brittlebreeze so hostile towards her, but he decided not to butt into the medicine cat's business.

he sighed, breathing in to calm himself down. thats when he smelled something off about the air. turning full body to the entrance of the den, he inhaled gain, jaws open to identify the smell in the air. blood. a moment later the soft call, through the rain. it was the smell of blood, that propelled him to the entrance of camp, where he saw a white she-cat, smelling of, well not shadowclan. in her jaws she an apprentice, Icepaw. blood was being washed away. um..um...um! he said whispered frantically. this can't be happening... he thought, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, wishing for it to dissapear. tough luck.

to...come to brittlebreeze's den. he's out. hurry please! he mewed racing back to the den. um, what can i use, what can i use? his eyes scanned over the herbs, and kept landing on catmint. that was definetly not going to help the current situation. he closed his eyes again, what did brittlebreeze use for nightfrost? cobwebs. lots of cobwebs. but would they be what he needed for the magnitude of icepaw's wounds? definitely not. goldenrod juice! to soothe pain. he grabbed both just the white she-cat emerged with icepaw. she laid her gently on the moss. aspenpaw rushed over to the apprentice, sticking his nose in her fur gently.

instantly he was overwhelmed. her wounds were more than he could see, but the think that really bothered him was the broken leg. not only did he not know how to set it properly, if it set in that position, they would have to re-break it to get it back to normal. inhaling deaply he dripped the goldenrod juice into the visible wounds. brittlebreeze, come back soon! oh starclan send him back! he thought frantically, heart still pounding in his chest. he tried to appear as cal as he could. what, ah, what happened? he asked, gently patting her wounds with cobwebs. deep down he knew it was futile. what could he do? he'd been training to me a medicine cat for how long? maybe five days. this was a disaster.



notes;
muse: good (:
words: 651
comments, sorry for the slight powerplay v.v