what a bitter sweet feeling [open]

[sparroweh]

Homecoming. What a bitter sweet feeling. She stood on the edge of her territory; she had been here for a few days now- but never having enough courage to walk to the camp. She was waiting for a patrol, or anyone, to appear and ask her what she was doing here. The sun was just rising- dawn, her favorite time of day, and it made her orange pelt flicker and glow as if it were a fire. Fire on ShadowClan territory? Only the emotions in her heart.

Her paws were in the place she loved so dearly, the place where so many things happened. She opened her mouth and drew in the scents; mouse, toad, so many scents of cats- but one stood out to her in particular, Blackface. What was he doing here? Wasn't he a RiverClan warrior? Her heart leapt at the thought of the black warrior padding after some other she-cat, just like he did to her. Maybe that's what he had come here, to meet his lover in the moonlight, trading exchanged words, feelings, tense and ready to run if they heard a clanmate. She knew that feeling too well. She knew that scene too well.

Her fur rose just thinking about that. He was here, and for someone else. He didn't wait for her. Her claws sunk into the ground, jealously scorching through her. A small voice inside her head told her, 'But you wouldn't have picked him, you would've went to Smallclaw, what are you jealous for?'

He didn't wait for her.

'But everyone thinks you're dead.'

Oh. Right. Forgot about that.

Sparrowflight sighed, her claws going back into her paws. She looked around, her green eyes taking in the view. Don't panic, there must be a logical explaination of this. Her tail lashed, as she went through the possibilites. Blackface stealing prey- no, he wouldn't do that. Blackface chasing a fox or badger or rogue out- yeah, but there's no scent of those things. Blackface meeting a pretty she-cat in the moonlight- now to think of it, there aren't any scents of excitement, anxiety, or anything. Just plain boringness and irritation. Wait, was Blackface getting into a fight- with who? Smallclaw? What would they have to fight about now, another pretty she-cat?

She shook her head. She needed to clear her mind, this wasn't going anywhere. Let's think.
Let's think happy thoughts. Like her apprentice, former apprentice, Sweetpaw. She must be a warrior now. What would her name be? Sweetsong? Sweetbee? Sweetbird? Sweetcall? Sweetheart? Sweetdream? Sweetpeace? Sweetvoice? Sweetsky? Sweetlight? Sweetbreeze? Well, there's only so many names that can start with 'sweet'. Does she have a mate yet? A handsome tom who stole her heart? What about kits? Or is she dead?

No. She can't be dead. She's too sweet and innocent. She hates fights and is too scared to attack anyone or rush into battle. She couldn't be dead. She must be somewhere inside of the camp, with her warrior name, sharing tongues with some tom and purring about what beautiful kits they're going to have. Sweetwhatever is going to have a peaceful, happy life, exactly the opposite kind of life she had so far.

And what about Smallclaw? Her heart leaped with joy at the thought of the black warrior, she longed to be in his presence- maybe he did wait for her. Refusing to believe that she died. Maybe he still dreamt of her at night, like she dreamt so many times about him. Maybe he didn't have another mate or kits, and maybe he was thinking about her just the way she was thinking about him. Maybe, at this moment, they were thinking about each other.

A small, foolish, childish smile creeped onto her face. But then she remembered.

Those are just maybe's. Maybe he has a family. Maybe he's already happy. Maybe he's forgotten all about her. Maybe he doesn't want to see her again. Maybe she isn't wanted anymore. Maybe...

Maybe she shouldn't go back.

Sparrowflight became uncertain for the first time in her life. No, for the third time. The first time was when she was choosing between Blackface and Smallclaw. The second time was when she was traveling with Memory. Now, she was confused. What should she do? Maybe, it was best if she pretened like she was dead, as if she was a different cat. Maybe she should change her name and go to a different Clan. Maybe she should just live her life as a loner like Memory. Or maybe she should find her way back to Tigger and be with him- like how desperately he wanted her to stay and have kits with her.

Maybe. There were too many maybes in her mind. She didn't know which one to pick.

Maybe she should just leave, maybe she shouldn't interfere with anymore of Shadow and RiverClan warriors.

She looked at the marshes one last time, and then turned slowly. Her heart was painful and heavy, it felt like she lost someone. Someone so close to her. And then she realized, yes, she did lose someone- ShadowClan. She was turning her back on her birth Clan, the Clan of so many generations before her, the Clan who she loved so much that she came back for. And now, that same Clan she was leaving- for the benefit of the Clan.

Oh, what a bitter sweet feeling.

//so. anyone who posts that never rped with her before can pretend like they're friends or something. anything to make this interesting. ah, i love sparrowflight. i'm so glad she's back. she's gonna spark another fire pretty soon. anyone wants a plot?

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[blackface]

Blackface pressed his nose to the ground, his amber eyes closed in somewhat of a trance. His mouse, his lovely, his peace. A long sigh escaped his lips as the thoughts that once cascaded in his mind suddenly stopped. It was wonderful. It was peaceful. His black ears twitched as his lean white legs now bent to a crouch. A smile formed itself on his lips. For at this moment - he was whole again. There were no troubles and there were no worries. His silence, his drug. With sharp claws, he dug another line in the dirt where his precious was. He'd return another day to the peace. But for now - he was a warrior. He had things to do.

But that was about to be ruined. As he lifted his head, a scent entered his glands. It was familiar. He knew it from somewhere. But where? Whose scent was it? He knew he knew it. Crouching in stealth mode, he stalked toward the smell. It didn't seem threatening, but he was still cautious. Just in case. As he neared the scent, he began to see the origin. First, the orange tabby-like tail, then the rest of the body and, for just a moment, he caught those emerald eyes. And all at once the identity of this stranger hit him. He knew why this she-cat smelled familiar. And time stood still.

"Well well, my dear." He spoke, raising himself to his full height and stepping from cover. "Look what we have here." He didn't know whether to be angry or happy. He thought this she-cat was dead. It had hurt him for a long time afterward. He'd felt responsible in some way. His amber eyes now met her green gaze evenly. By StarClan she was just as beautiful as she'd always been. She was a gift. She was the reason neither Lavapaw nor Nightfrost had meant as much to him.

And for the first time in many, many moons - He was looking at his Sparrowflight.

[sparroweh]

"Well well, my dear. Look what we have here."

The familiar voice made her turn her orange head. Her shock turned into friendliness, she stopped herself from saying everything that happened. The scent of fish was stale, and instead of the RiverClan scent she expected, it was ShadowClan. Instead of asking a million questions, she flicked her tail to the left, indicating the border.


"RiverClan must sure miss their black warrior, huh? Who's the lucky she-cat who has your heart now? She must be pretty, bring her to meet me one day," she teased, her tone lighthearted and friendly.

A million questions were in her mind about Smallclaw, but she figured that maybe Blackface wasn't the tom to ask about him. Her eyes flashed with pain once, but she covered it up.

"How's the Clan? Managing well without me?" she flicked her tail impatiently, not waiting for an answer, "Good. Guess they don't need me anymore. Say hi to Sweetpaw; she should be a warrior now. And Skylight." she cringed once. "And Smallclaw."

She half expected to be invited to their camp by Blackface; but quickly pushed that thought away. Besides, who would want their ex-lover next to their new mate? Talk about awkward situations.

Anyways, being inside the territory was enough for Sparrowflight. As long as she was near her home, she was fine. She could be a rogue or a loner or a kittypet- and she'd be fine as long as she was by ShadowClan. That's all that mattered now.

[shadowclaw]

She whipped around as he spoke, probably hoping for anyone but him. RiverClan must sure miss their black warrior, huh? Who's the lucky she-cat who has your heart now? She must be pretty, bring her to meet me one day. Blackface was taken aback by the friendliness in her voice. This was not the hateful response he was expecting. Sighing, the massive tomcat moved to stand beside her, taking in her scent - what he had missed so much. "RiverClan? I was there for mere days. You can't hold this against me forever." He spoke, flicking his tail at her lightheartedly. "And no she-cat owns my heart now, for your information." He spoke these words as he rolled his piercing amber eyes.

How's the Clan? Managing well without me? Blackface opened his mouth to reply but before he good, she started speaking again. Good. Guess they don't need me anymore. Say hi to Sweetpaw; she should be a warrior now. And Skylight. And Smallclaw. Blackface tensed at the name, but said nothing. "Why don't you say hello to them yourself? You are back... right? I thought you were dead." Please don't leave me again. He finished silently as his ears flicked.

[sparroweh]

"RiverClan? I was there for mere days. You can't hold this against me forever. And no she-cat owns my heart now, for your information." He spoke these words as he rolled his piercing amber eyes.

Sparrowflight gave a small purr of laughter. The glint in her eyes was knowing, it was as if she were saying, Oh, really? She didn't say anything, but noticed that he cringed at Smallclaw's name. She never thought they'd be best friends, but she thought they'd at least warmed up to one another by now.

Oh well. Somethings never change.

"Why don't you say hello to them yourself? You are back... right? I thought you were dead." She sensed the pain in her voice, but ignored it. No, she wasn't ready for serious conversations. At least, not yet.

"I guess you could say I am, in some ways. I've been waiting out here; taking in as much as I could. Perhaps I could pop in to say a few hellos." her voice was light, the exact opposite of what she was feeling right now. "Well, darling, everyone thought I was. I thought I was too. Hmn, how about we gather everybody up and thank a kittypet for saving my life- I'm sure the Clan would love to hear that story, what do you think?"

Her voice was sarcastic, but full with warmth. She would forever be in debt to that tabby kittypet and his twolegs. May StarClan light their path for many more moons to come.

//bllegh. i'm soorry. bad muse today

[blackface]

I guess you could say I am, in some ways. I've been waiting out here; taking in as much as I could. Perhaps I could pop in to say a few hellos. Her voice was lighthearted and warm as she spoke. Blackface's ears flicked and he closed his eyes momentarily. She guessed? In some ways? What was she up to now? Well, darling, everyone thought I was. I thought I was too. Hmn, how about we gather everybody up and thank a kittypet for saving my life- I'm sure the Clan would love to hear that story, what do you think? A small purr of laughter managed to escape his throat. Her tone was sarcastic, but there was a hint of warmth under that sarcasm; something which confused Blackface. Either she was stretching the truth, or it really happened.

In any case, Blackface wanted answers. And he would make sure his ginger she-cat would go nowhere until he got them. With their pelts brushing only slightly, the massive black and white tomcat almost slithered in front of her before stopping with his side facing her and his head turned to look in her emerald eyes, a sly smile upon his lip. "We can get to that later, my dear. But first," His tail flicked almost subconsciously at her paws, "There are things I want to know. I want to know your story." He moved now to face her head-on, sitting down and curling his long, silky black tail over his paws, his eyes glowing with an almost seductive plead.

"So tell me, love, where have you been? And why did you leave?" The second question rolled out of his mouth quickly and almost clumsily, but he regained himself with that same subconsciously seductive plead.