do you know how much it hurts? [ closed ]

[0nightfrost0]

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[bg=2f2f2f] the night was closing in all around her, and yet she couldn't bring herself to care. other than her injuries, she was perfectly fine. well. physically speaking, of course. with the severe wounds healing wonderfully, she had little to worry about except not being as active as she'd like to be, what with these wounds disabling her a tad. and it didn't help that she was now shadowclan's deputy. news of her promotion to such a major role definitely shook her, and already being a tad off from still recovering, she had basically passed out a few moments after managing to calm down and think about it a while. no, it admittedly wasn't fun. and now wasn't any better. the clan probably knew before she was informed, so chances were, she missed out on a bit, and they had changed to prepare to adjust to her once she was up and ready again. but she didn't want to wait that long. not anymore. there were too many things to do, especially with the coterie issue seemingly coming to a rise. she couldn't just laze around waiting for her injuries to heal! but, alas, with a sigh, she had to. her lobes twitched backward, lowering toward her cranium, before she lowered her head. it probably wasn't best for her to wander outside of brittlebreeze's den like this, which was why she made certain she was still well within its vicinity, able to reach it quickly if needed. for now, she lurked amongst the shadows nearby, once again. she remembered how she had been forced to stay in hiding within those shadows, news of her supposed murder spreading like a plague back then. back then, she wasn't a prominent member of the clan. just any other ordinary shadowclanner. but still, news spread, making everything unreal. and then blackface. to see her beloved blackface fall apart in her absence, it tore her to pieces. and it hurt even more when she had returned, supposedly revived, and had dealt with the rogues who had forced her to fake being dead. oh but the physical scars were clear, even though the emotional were not. another sigh, and she carefully laid onto her stomach upon the cool ground. placing her apex onto her crossed paws, she narrowed her eyes and allowed herself to wish and dream of a world where things were carefree, and everything was almost perfect. because, right now, she had so many questions, and the one that hurt her most, was: what will happen to blackface and me?

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» STATUS: finished.
» TAGS: blackface!
» COUNT: 436.
» NOTES: time for some mo' drama.
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[blackface]

Born from silence, silence full of it
Perfect concert, my best friend

It had been a couple days since that encounter with Skye. So far, Sweetmelody was doing okay and he hadn't seen the rogue since. But something in his mind bothered him, something wasn't right about Ebonysnarl. Sure, the dark warrior had a terrible disposition, but that was just his personality, right? He was still a loyal cat, Blackface was sure of it. He even helped fight off when the rogue suggested he wasn't loyal, that was proof enough there right? Maybe, but something still nagged at Blackface about it. Something wasn't entirely right. Then again, who was he to question Ebonysnarl about loyalty? He had no authority over the warrior, and the two were remarkably evenly matched when it came to size and skill. The large warrior shook his head and sat down, trying his best to drown out those thoughts.

Then, another thought popped in his head, causing the tip of his tail to flick in what seemed like delight. That very same day he had seen her again. That ginger tabby with those same lovely emerald eyes. It had been so great to see her again, after all this time thinking she was dead. A small smile crossed Blackface's lips as he lowered himself to an almost laying position and closed his eyes. It was as if he could still smell her scent, Sparrowflight. Was that what Sweetmelody meant that day? Had she seen somewhat of a sign? Blackface's short fur began to bristle along his spine as his paws kneaded the ground. This wasn't the time nor place. Sighing, the large black and white warrior twisted to smooth down his pelt again and as he turned, his amber eyes caught sight of something he dreaded.

A grayish-silver she-cat with darker stripes running along her pelt. Several scars from past battles made themselves known on her short fur, and her gaze - amber. She was laying on her stomach in almost the exact same position as he was, a distant look upon her face. Blackface's gaze softened. No, he hadn't forgotten Nightfrost. He could never forget her, she had helped him through so much. She had been there for him. Unlike Sparrowflight, whom left you with a boiling hatred. Part of his mind screamed at him, but the other part of him wanted to forgive her for everything. He wanted things the way they used to be.

Rising, the black and white tomcat quietly walked over to her, laying next to her with his shoulder pressed against hers. An almost sly smile appeared on his face as he nudged her gently. "Hello, dear Nightfrost." He spoke smoothly, evenly. No hint of the worry or fear or confusion in his voice, just simple kindness. The same went for his piercing amber gaze, now soft as he looked at the grayish-silver tabby.

So much to live for, so much to die for
If only my heart had a home

[0nightfrost0]

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[bg=2f2f2f] a large figure loomed about, the pelt mainly white and thus clashing against the shadows. except for the head. perhaps a kit looking out of the nursery would panic, believing to see a headless ghost for a split second before realizing it was a warrior. but nightfrost knew better. and half of her wished she didn't. as much as she loved the tom, she was angry and sad at him. she had known, not from her own witnessing but from others' gossip, that he and sparrowflight were beginning to pick up where they left off with their chemistry. it hurt, it really did. he was her only love, and even that was stolen from her. seeing him approach, his silhouette much closer now, she returned to the present. away from the darkness of her mind. because she was lonely, despite the calming company within the medicine cat's den. she was lonely, and she had missed his company. missed everyone else's company, the ones who cared about her. after so much, or so little, time, it seemed as if they left her for dead. might as well have. so to have him here, it kept her grips on reality. 'hello, dear nightfrost.' she found herself nearly smiling, the corners of her lips twitching upward for a moment. how she had missed his endearing voice, sweet and gentle despite his large size. a bitterness reached her; too bad it now was all over sparrowflight. too bad his heart belonged to that other feline, and not her. even as he nudged her, even as she felt herself wanting to melt under his touch, she was sad. but still she purred, the very faintest, as she lifted her cranium to return the nudge. "hello, blackface darling," she responded in a whispering breath, her lobes slipping toward her skull again. "how have you been?" better than i, i bet. why did she have to hurt so much.

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» STATUS: finished.
» TAGS: blackface!
» COUNT: 325.
» NOTES: nadda.
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[blackface]

Answer me
Did we take this too far?

hello, blackface darling. Her voice was faint, almost a whisper. If he hadn't known better, he'd question whether she said anything at all. Something was wrong, he could tell. She was hurting, not physically, but mentally. Something was bothering her. Blackface let his amber gaze fall to his paws below him. Was it him? Should he go? His ears twitched idly as he pondered, but his worried thoughts were soon interrupted by her voice. how have you been? Blackface looked back at her as he dug his claws in the ground.

How had he been? Oh, just dandy. On top of Icestar's death and the fact that he had been lead to thinking for many many moons that Sparrowflight was dead, he was worried about what Skye said about Ebonysnarl, and if Sweetmelody would be okay. Were her wounds serious? Was she dead? He was worried about the look in Smallclaw's eye as he ran after Skye. He was falling out of touch with everyone in his Clan. Oh yeah, and it turns out Sparrowflight wasn't dead after all. She was perfectly fine. Or, not perfectly fine. She'd been, what'd she say? Kidnapped? But yeah, other than that, he'd been fine.

"Fine," He said after a short pause, "Yourself?" Not that she's much better than I, I'm sure. He thought, his gaze softening to what was almost pity. Poor girl. He loved her, why was he so stupid? He had to go with the one who took pleasure in hurting him. Instead of Nightfrost, who was so sweet, gentle, beautiful, wonderful. But everything had been taken from her, at the most inopportune time. He still loved her though, he wanted her happy, but he couldn't do it. He was just too stubborn.

You've given all I could need
Did we take this too far?

[0nightfrost0]

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[bg=2f2f2f] 'fine.' fine. such an intriguing word. it always meant a foreboding. either a horrible event recently passed, or was to come - or, most of the time, that one was hiding their pain. their weakness. their fear and their urge to cry. obviously, he was better off, but not by much. barely, if she did say so herself. her tail flicked somewhat, her head returning to her paws. 'yourself?' hm, how odd. the feeling that abruptly enveloped her in that moment. she felt herself tense, faintly straining her still healing wounds. hmph, going from the shoulder to the end of her side. but the pain of that had nothing on the pain and felt now, the ache in her chest and her heart, the stress upon her jaw as she clenched down her pearls, her amber orbs narrowing subconsciously. with her face tilted downward, chances were, he wouldn't notice. but he would probably notice the slight shift in her atmosphere. in that moment, she wanted to just stand up. stand up and shove her nose into his, shove his head back and hiss in his face, spit onto it even. she wanted to snap at him, to just scream out all her pain at him, as if it would accomplish something. as if it could save them from parting, from going their separate ways. i love you..

[/font][/color] she bit her lip. she knew she couldn't bring herself to do it. not like that. not so hatefully, no matter how hurt and bitter she was, no matter how great her temper was. she just couldn't do it right now.

blinking away the forming tears, she glanced up into his eyes. her voice found a strength she didn't know she could reach in this situation. "i'm decent."[/font] she had the urge to turn around, to turn her back to him. like he did to her. but she'd have no one to run to. no one else who loved her like him. or at least, how he used to. she wanted to run away. just leave everything behind, and find a place beyond her pains and worries, to abandon her troubles right then and there.

too bad that wasn't going to happen. so instead, she merely glanced down again, almost closing her glowing gaze as her cranium remained resting upon her paws.

time for small talk. and hopefully, it could develop into something more. or they'd just walk away from each other, as if nothing ever happened between them, as if they were nothing more than deputy and warrior.

"how are warrior duties going?" she did care, a tad. but she knew she wanted to keep him here for as long as possible. and yet, a side of her just wanted to push him away. snarl at him and demand he leave, never look her in the eye again; leave her for sparrowflight. leave her for something that hurt them both. leave everything behind, a perfect future they could have had. just leave.

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» STATUS:
» TAGS: blackface!
» COUNT: 507.
» NOTES: emo post is emo. .. and ramblish.
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