if only...

[sparroweh]

a ginger she-cat shook her head sadly, looking at the land below her feet. she had just witnessed the coterie's meeting, and the betrayal of one of her old clanmate- midnighthowl. how could this have happened? her green eyes closed slightly, the memories of her old life flooding back to her. maybe, just maybe, if she was still living- none of this would've happened. maybe she could've gotten to know midnighthowl better, and maybe she would've been able to steer her into a better path. a path that would've benefitted the whole forest- instead of destroying it. sparrowflight sighed, shaking her head and then moving across the clouds to see another cat. the one cat she had been watching since she had came here.

smallclaw. the black warrior was injured, and words were being said. a few moons ago, she had talked to him once. contacted him- something she probably shouldn't have had done. she only made his life worse. giving him memories that he had tried to forget, making his relationship with sweetmelody- a nice, she-cat- worse. she had only done it to say something to him, something she had always wanted to say to him... but sparrowflight should've known better. she shouldn't have done that. stupid she-cat. stupid sparrowflight.

she closed her eyes, looking once more at the black warrior who still had her heart. he was in love with another pretty she-cat, ravenpelt. ravenpelt, a warrior that sparrowflight never got to befriend, and never would be able to. the ginger she-cat sighed loudly, wondering what would've happened if she was still alive. maybe she would've had kits with smallclaw, maybe they would've still loved each other and promised to grow old together. or maybe their relationship would've ended, and maybe smallclaw would've fallen in love with ravenpelt anyways. maybe she would've picked blacknose over the black shadowclan tom. who knows?

blacknose? where had the warrior gone? she had been looking for him, in the riverclan camp, in the territories, everywhere. but her once former crush was no where to be found. where did he go? he couldn't of had died, since she hadn't met him in starclan yet. perhaps he went away, over the mountains, to find peace somewhere. maybe he's living somewhere else. maybe he's madly in love with another she-cat, and he's having a wonderful life. that's what she'd like to think, that blacknose is having a good life- where ever he may be.

sparrowflight walked away, no longer looking at the forest below her. instead, she was looking around. she hadn't talked to any starclanner yet. who knows why? she just hadn't run into them, and even if she did- she never really wanted to talk to them. she was still mourning. mourning for her loss. she was glad that she died doing a good deed, but she had died young- and had wanted to live much longer. she wasn't done living her life yet, and now, here she was, spending her days looking down below. wasting her time.

green eyes watered, thinking about what she had missed, and what she could've had done differently if she'd known that she would've died this young. her orange pelt shimmered with stars, as she opened her mouth to whisper two words into the eerie darkness.

"if only..."

[/size]

[! K E S T R E L W I N G]

never knew i could feel like this

The moon cast its gentle, feeble white rays on the world, a soft shadow against the night sky. The clouds were whispy that night, fingers stretching from star to star, across the wide expanse of nothingness. It was a night like any other, though the stars seemed a bit brighter, and the spirits that were tied to them a bit more restless. Kestrelwing certainly was. His vibrant blue gaze, flecked with starshine, was troubled as he paced the skies, flicking his black tipped tail to and fro. The stretch of twinkling lights above his head caught his gaze, appealing, beckoning to him. With one final glance at Pebble, sleeping gently, nose tucked into her small paws, the dappled tom pushed off with his muscular hind legs and shot into the sky.

The breeze, cool against his triangular ears, pierced his thick fur and sent chills down his spine. Without flinching, Kestrelwing continued on, his heart pumping with adrenaline as the world flew beneath him. He didn't know where he was going, and it didn't matter. The world was open to him, more so than ever before, and he knew it. There was no place he could not go and and no place he would not go. He would explore to his heart's content, adventures that he could not have dared to dream of as an apprentice.

Speaking of apprentices . . .

The moors were stretched beneath him now, the wide, empty expanse haunting in the moonlight. Grasses and flowers swayed eerily in the breeze, sending sweet scents up to meet him. Kestrelwing breathed them in greedily, yearning for the days when he could race among them with his fellow apprentices, laughing and loving life. There was none of that now. Of course, the circumstances were different now. He was a StarClan warrior, watching over his Clanmates and protecting them. But still.

There was the low dip that hid the WindClan camp. Kestrelwing slowed, his large paws almost skimming the dewy grasses as he made his way into his old home. The guard on duty looked drowsy, tail twitching as he mumbled softly to himself. Kestrelwing smiled - how often he had been that guard - before gently tickling his whiskers with the tip of his tail. The tom snapped to attention, staring around suspiciously, settling back on his haunches. Turning away, Kestrelwing silently moved onward.

Stripebird was sleeping in his den, whiskers twitching as he dreamed. It would only take a moment, for Kestrelwing to slip in, into that cloudy confusion that dreams were, for him to comfort his friend, to make everything alright. But he wouldn't. Not tonight.

Soon enough, he reminded himself, blue eyes piercing in the darkness. Soon Stripebird would become leader of WindClan, Kestrelwing would be granting the faded tabby tom one of his lives. The fifth one, to be exact. He didn't quite remember what he was supposed to say, but then again, he still had time.

With one last look at his friend and a gentle, fond smile, Kestrelwing vanished, shooting among the stars once more. The thrill of the ride was exalting and breathtaking, as it had been since the first moment he arrived in StarClan, of his own will. Following a she-cat. Chuckling to himself, the handsome tom's gaze caught on a slight figure, a short ways away. Curiosity got the better of him, and he approached, realizing that it was a cat he did not know. This did not surprise him. He was not new to the skies, and yet most of the cats chose to spend eternity in silence, alone, mourning. It did not occur to him that this might be one of those cats.

"Can't sleep?"

[/color] he called out as he approached her, noting the way her orange pelt shimmered in the starlight. Her eyes, a bright, vibrant green, were focused on the world below. "I don't think we've met,"[/color] he murmured, settling down on his haunches, and puffing out his chest. And who said he had lost his charm?
[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

like i've never seen the sky before.

[angellz]

R O W A N F L O W E R;;
I'm so starstruck&&;


Soft green eyes stared out on the moors from a far. She wondered how she ever dealt with the chaos unfolding around the clans. Witnessing such an young apprentice almost dieing from her clan almost tore her in two pieces. She was not about to let anything tragic happen again. The clan needed all of the warriors it could get, and it was never meant for the young apprentice to get involved in the skirmish anyway. She almost cringed at the wounds that the poor dear had. They were so deep, and the advantage was hardly fair against her. The young calico had two apprentices on her the whole time, which was never going to end well. They had so much more experience than she did. Life was shorter than most cats knew, and that was something this she-cat could not stress even enough to others. Maybe cats would never figure out everything until they joined Starclan. It was all so puzzling to her, but her life was something that was cherished by most.


As she gazed out on the moors still, her eyes almost brimmed up with crystallized tears. She couldn't stand being away from her clan. She wondered if it would have made a difference if she was still living today if she would be of any use to her clan. She had always been there through the hardships. It almost was as if this was all a dream, but indeed it was not. She had more important things to worry about, such as the coterie. She already saw the band of rogue cats forming a meeting, and plotting against the clans. She knew indeed her clan was in grave danger, and there wasn't much she could do about it. All she could do was sit back and watch the chaos unfold around her, and wonder why there was so much violence. She hated fighting, and it was not anything new that it upset her very much to know the clans fought very often. It could be over anything, such as prey stealing, or even betrayal.


As she shook her head she stepped up to the cloud above the medicine cats den. She knew for a fact Stripebird was in there, and she was indeed very proud of him. Little did he know yet that he was going to become the new leader of Windclan. She had known him from kithood almost. She trained with the tom, and at one point thought so highly of him, after all he was the last one to say anything to her before she joined Starclan. It was tragic, and she knew it was going to affect him a bit, that his former training partner was going to see him sooner than he even knew. She knew he was so capable of being such a beneficial leader, and even would help so much. She had always favored him. She muttered to herself, soon enough dear you'll see me again, and I hope you really do uphold your job..., as she then leaped to another cloud.


There were two cats whom she never had seen before. She almost wondered what they were up to. As she moved closer to them, her dark brown pelt swayed in the wind. She almost was tempted to scare them. They seemed to be enjoying the evening as she was. It was so amazing how much fun you could have after moonrise. It normally was a time for cats to rest, and upon occasion she would pop in dreams, just for fun, and to keep the other cats she had known in line. She giggled, and stretched out on the cloud. Apparently they couldn't sleep either, and she knew she rarely slept. It just was she was always on her feet. She knew what she had to do, and she was assigned the job to help cats, and be a dream walker. She also gave leaders lives, when needed. As speaking of lives, she was giving one to Stripebird, which was faith, in which she based all of her life on.


Turning to the two cats, she meowed quietly, "Evening you two. I see you two couldn't sleep either. It must be the night for no sleep, eh?" She was not always great at making conversations, but she tried. She was better at talking to cats in dreams, because they were almost always surprised to see an Starclan cat in their dreams. It was almost amusing to her, but she knew she had to be serious with them. It wasn't like she could just laugh or anything. Her life was based on being there for cats that needed her, and of course what Violetstar told her to do. She had never seen much of the leader, but she knew that every cat gets busy. It's not like they could take breaks. It was almost like being in a clan, but more fun.


As she turned to the two cat's she smiled softly. Her fur was swaying in the night wind, and she flicked her tail quickly. She knew her life was better than most. She had a mother and father who cared about her dearly, and some cats up here did not. She shrugged it off, and wondered to herself what she was going to even say to Stripebird when he received his lives. She wanted to say so much to the young tom, because they were close, but at the same time she knew she couldn't keep him long, because there was other lives to be given out. All she knew at this point was that her speech had to be good, but at the same time something the tom could remember her by, because after all, they were so close at one time, when she was still alive.


tags; sparrow, kestrel
lyrics; Starstruck-Lady Gaga
Comments; broke 1000 words (:, and hope you don't mind me joining you guys.

[mousewhisker]

i'm on a mission

Things hadn't always been so complicated, or rather, they hadn't always been so confusing. Such things included the border fight between ThunderClan and ShadowClan, all of the wounds (she was thankful that, despite StarClans endless, golden fields and beautiful forests, no cats had joined their ranks this time) that were inflicted. If only the Clans knew of the oncoming storm, would they be so quick to quarrel with each other? Or assume their wisest options, and band as one, united force to defend the forest as a whole? Caramel eyes flickered with something akin to reminiscence; of old friends, and scuffles to be proud of. Mousewhisker knew better than anything the price the Clans paid to protect each other, to fight. Every battle would have it's consequence, a life for a life. An eye for en eye, in some form, anyway...

She had died many, many seasons ago, and for those who'd been close to her, it was a sad death, and for others, who may not have known her very well at all, it might have been just a heartrending reflection. She knew that there were many who had lost, more or less; but was death really so sad? Had it not simply been her time, StarClan would have forced her back. Forced her soul back into her body, a body that, no matter where she was now, would be in the ground forever. Promises were important, they weren't always just words sputtered at the very last instances, desperately attempting to grasp the last strands of hope, for one's self, or for others... it was an oath by heart, by soul. One that Mousewhisker still feels bound to, even when she'd long since left the borders of the forest. Great wounds seized her to protect her Clan's territory, to help her Clanmates... stubborn she was, yes, but if she'd let Heronfeather make her go in his place, it might have been him here instead.

Though he'd joined her not long after, his life seemed more important than hers. Snowstorm grieved for her, but many, many more grieved for brave Heronfeather; it wouldn't have felt just to let him take the beating. One cat against a patrol of RiverClanners? No way... there just wasn't a chance, it was an impossible fantasy. But she did it. And then she died. That was the consequence she'd paid to save his life, sacrificing herself for RiverClan and for Heronfeather, a Clanmate nonetheless, however distant. It was what it was, death was not the end, it was a new beginning. She knew some found it hard to move on from their living lives, their happiness stuck to the backs of their old lovers, old friends... they hadn't realized that there would come a time when they would be reunited. StarClan knows just how soon, indeed...

Heartfelt warmth veiled the Abyssinian she-cats maw, before she crouched and started in a broad gallop. The sun had begun to set beneath the bleeding clouds; it's form was gone but the strength of its rays remained. They filtered through the forest, casting dying red and yellow over every leaf, every trunk they could reach. The sky, mingled by the snippets of twilight, blinked little lights. Star shine fell all around her, and around the forest... her speed increased, but only slightly. Every pawstep, every time her paws hit the ground, where they'd touched, lit up momentarily with a shine. StarClan was the afterlife, but it beat. The forest was beating. Ears flicked back for second to enjoy the rush of the cool New-leaf breeze; pads taking pleasure in the soft earth. Sparkles embedded themselves in her fur, and echoed in her gaze.

Voices sounded ahead, though... somewhat familiar. Did she know them? No, she didn't. Must have came to the forest after her time...

Softly, she approached, her pace deafening into a graceful saunter. "Perhaps it's a meeting of fate," chuckling, her deep voice purred after wards. Facing skywards, she settled into a site beside the three other cats, admiring the sunset and the way everything suddenly pieced together like an impossible dream. She never got tired of seeing it, it was like the very first time.

"Fate loves the fearless."

and i've gotta see it through.

[! K E S T R E L W I N G]

never knew i could feel like this

A patter of footsteps behind him made Kestrelwing turn over one bronze shoulder. The she-cat who approached them was dark brown in color, a pelt he had never quite seen before. Was she before his time? Or after? He couldn't be sure. They all looked the same to him, the starry warriors that roamed the skies. They were all there, all stuck in time, never aging, just living. Or not.

"Evening, you two. I see you two couldn't sleep either. It must be the night for no sleep, eh?" Kestrelwing blinked at her familiar accent. The WindClanners spoke so softly, their words like breezes on sunlight, flowing gently and quietly. ThunderClanners were tough, their voices filled with woody trunks and dappled leaves, earthy and kind. RiverClanners were brave and rough, used to the rapid, quick flow of water that surrounded them. And ShadowClan . . . they were dangerous. Cunning, fiery, quick to attack. Kestrelwing closed his sparkling orbs. So much life, yet so different. It was all down there below them, below the clouds upon which they perched, below the golden grasses and delicate starshine, where the rivers never slowed and the prey never vanished.

"Yes,"

[/color] he answered simply, his eyes open once more. A sudden wind ruffled his dappled pelt, as one more was added to their number. This one he knew, somehow. Had he seen her before? In life or in death, he couldn't be sure.

"Perhaps it's a meeting of fate," she chuckled, her maw opening in laughter. She settled herself next to Kestrelwing, brown pelt rustling softly. He could feel the heat of her body next to him, and he was reminded of Pebble, alone in some peaceful meadow. He could have to return sooner or later. Later. he thought to himself, simply enjoying the presence of the other cats around him.

"Fate loves the fearless," the brown queen added, her voice hinting at sarcasm. Or perhaps not. Kestrelwing chuckled to himself, feeling his muscles relax. This was a fiery one.

"But do the fearless love fate?"[/color] his voice was laughing as he glanced at the she-cat out of one brilliant blue eye. Still smiling, he turned back to the scene below. "I can't say that I did,"[/color] The smile faded like the colors of the sunset, into darkness once more, as he thought of his own fate. Falling for the cat who broke his heart, finding her once more, losing her yet again. It was never ending. He lived it over and over again every night in his dreams. Fate hated him, ripped him apart.

But was he not fearless? As he gazed down at the forest, filled with uncertainty and betrayal, pain and blood, lies and treachery, as an icy chill ran down his spine, he couldn't be sure.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

like i've never seen the sky before.

[/size][/font]

[sparroweh]

she was unaware of the sound of footsteps, she didn't know that someone was watching her until he spoke, "can't sleep?" she turned around and stared into a set of blue eyes. he puffed out his chest, "i don't think we've met," he said, his voice full of charm. what a flirt. her green gaze scanned the tom in front of her, and she had to say, he was one of the good looking ones.

"no, i believe we haven't," she replied. her voice was sugar-sweet, and she forgot that she was mourning for herself. "sparrowflight of shadowclan," she said, smiling almost flirtatiously. "where have you been this whole time?" she looked into his blue orbs, wondering what kind of cat he had been, who he had loved, what had happened in his life. she wondered, what was he doing here? why had he died? so many unanswered questions.

another cat, a she-cat, windclanner walked up to them. "evening you two. i see you two couldn't sleep either. it must be the night for no sleep, eh?" sparrowflight nodded, she wasn't sleeping. she hadn't slept for a long time. but they don't need to know that she's one of those shallow she-cats who spend their days looking back on their life. as she opened her mouth to spoke, yet another cat approached them. "perhaps it's a meeting of fate. fate loves the fearless." sparrowflight rolled her large green eyes. fate. fearless. oh, please. she gave a small huff of amusement mingled with annoyance, as she looked at the tom, who spoke once more.

"but do the fearless love fate?" he gave a small laugh, and that laughter rang in her ears. she was taken back, moons ago- seasons ago- to when she was still alive. to when she felt the blood rushing up to her head, to when she felt her heartbeat grow faster and faster. she could almost feel the butterflies ago, she could almost hear those sweet words echo inside of her ear, as they laughed together. i love you. sparrowflight's eyes grew wider, she stopped breathing- if that was possible- and she was taken right back to her former life. she was taken back to spending her days, lying in the marsh with a black tom with the most beautiful green eyes...

no. no. stop thinking about that.

sparrowflight was taken back to reality, when the tom spoke once more, "i can't say that i did." sparrowflight gave a small smile. the tom's answer made her start thinking again. was she fearless? well, she was fearless when it came into love. she would jump right in, not caring whether or not she'd get hurt. she never did. it was just the kind of cat that she was. she broke hearts, instead of getting her heart broken. she was fearless when it came to words, she would snap right back- not caring what the others would think of her. she was fearless when it came into battle, she would go and attack- she would do anything to save lives of others.

so yes, she was fearless.

but, did she enjoy fate? well, of course she did. she enjoyed seeing what life gave her next. what challenges that she would have to overcome. she enjoyed the hardships. she especially liked seeing other cat's reactions to what she did. sparrowflight was self-centered like that, she loved herself and her life. she loved the reputation that she had, and the way cats turned their heads when they saw her coming. the way she heard them whisper, oh, there she is. sparrowflight of shadowclan. she was secretive, yet everyone knew her. she adored the attention.

now, look where fate brought her. dead. oh, joy. dead, by saving another unknown she-cat's life. dead by saving an apprentice's life. fate brought her to that spot that day, where no one else was around. she was having a wonderful life. and yet, she was the one that was chosen to die. for what reason? nothing else but to save an apprentice. sure, it was a noble way to die. but that apprentice was too much of a coward to tell the whole clan what had happened. so they all assumed that she ran off with some rogue tom to have a better life.

that's how she was remembered as. a she-cat who ran off with a rogue. what a lovely way to be remembered by. sparrowflight's bitterness was shown on her face, but none of those cats knew what she was thinking about. her thoughts wandered from herself, to the jealously she was feeling for all of those others. those who had the chance to live, those who had the chance to raise a family with the tom they loved. oh, what she would give to have a chance.

no, no. stop thinking. don't think about what ifs, think about right now. about starclan. the future for the clans. she looked beyond, to get her mind off of her life, and saw a tabby tom in windclan twitching. she closed her eyes and felt a sudden connection. that tom. that tom was soon to be leader.

she turned back around to the cats who was keeping her company, did they already know that? she tilted her head slightly in the direction where the cat was twitching in his sleep. stripestar. the name rolled around in her mind, echoing. it fit the windclan tom perfectly. her eyes looked at her former friend, she longed to go and comfort his dream- but knew that she couldn't. firstly, he would have to get used to the troubling dreams and stress. secondly, she wasn't that great of connecting with the living. thirdly, she wasn't part of his clan.

sure, they'd been friends- but because they were from different clans it was hard. but even if they were from enemy clans, they had been loyal to each other. a sudden feeling of realization dawned upon her. that was the life that she was to give the warrior. loyalty. what was she supposed to say? how was she supposed to do this? oh, great starclan! how is she supposed to do this?

her heart started to beat faster- once again, if that was possible- as she looked around for a source of comfort. she needed to talk to someone, anyone, a cat who had done this before. she looked at the tom and she-cats in front of her, opened her mouth to say something- but stopped herself. she barely knew these cats. she wasn't going to spill out all of her worries to them, after all, they've just met. her shocked forest-green eyes looked back down below at smallclaw. oh, how she longed to talk to him, to feel his warmth next to her body...

oh, smallclaw, what am i supposed to do?

[mousewhisker]

the brighter the light

The tom beside her made her smile, but out of insight, rather than pure grace. Who was to say that fate was its own being? And who was to say that the very beings who suffered from it, did not construct their own downfall? A laugh broke past her lips; good natured, but all the same, hauling over the coals. But do the fearless love fate? I can't say that I did. Mousewhisker shook her head, all too knowing of the struggles he was battling within. But she knew him, he was a former WindClan warrior. Torn in half for the love of his life, and for his Clan. Who was to say that what he had done was wrong? Who was the say that it was right? A mischief glint flickered past her creamy gaze like a falling star, and she glanced away from him, smirking quietly to herself.

He had done what he felt was right, and it had been right to him. He followed his souls instincts, and this death, this end was the consequence. Regardless if he loved the fate that he decided for himself mattered not. It was what it was. Just like herself, she endured a life-seizing blow in Heronfeathers stead to save Sunningrocks from RiverClan. Mousewhisker hadn't died immediately, her wound took many moons to claim her. Though, this was a consequence she was ready for. Being a Warrior of ThunderClan meant everything to her, and she had vowed, truly and utterly sincerely, with her life that she would protect and defend it. No questions asked. This was a destiny that she had found for herself, and there was nothing she would want changed.

To believe that everything would go the way one wished, was idealistic. There was no such thing as perfection, but there was happiness. Happiness was perfect.

A breeze windswept her silky short coat to the side, and she lifted her chin to feel it along her cheeks, through her spine and sides.

"If you'd left the world of the living without regrets," she meowed, almost chiding but not quite, "what disagreement with fate, a fate that you created, would you have? This is the result," her tail waved through the air, targeting StarClan itself, "of your life decisions."

She breathed humbly.

468

the darker the shadow.